Fuck it, it's worth a try.

In the highly unlikely event of anyone ever reading this blog and wondering what happened next well, I'm still in a job, but more importantly I have a new blog at http://tokyo-music.blogspot.com and it's perhaps of wider interest than this one. Same shite writing style though.

The End

Koizumi has called a snap general election in Japan, the Iraqi constitution is nearly written (that's one more than we have in the UK - I think we are just supposed to trust our politicians), and Hearts have managed a 100% start to the season. All surprising and momentous in their own way, and today one more can be added. I have finally managed to fool someone into giving me a job. Hah! I start on September 1st, the conditions look really good, and I have more freedom than I've ever had in a job before. Hallelujah, praise be, thank fuck, etc etc.

So, predictable title in place, apocalyptic helicopter blades churning over head, and Jim Morrison wittering away in the background. This blog is no more after today. The premise behind it is gone, I have made my contribution to the multitude of words floating about in the world today. I may start another blog, I may not. Thank you to anyone who read this. See you in the next one.

Wasted

Job classifieds have the same pitfalls as personals. The S in SWM is usually there for a good reason, and anyone that describes themselves as 'vivacious, beautiful, with GSOH' should be out there displaying these attributes rather than staking their chances on finding someone who isn't just after a quick knee trembler in a pub car park. This is the ad I replied to that led to today's interview:

English teacher and Japanese bilingual counsellor wanted to teach English in Kichijoji, Shibuya and Jiyugaoka. Base salary is 230,000-280,000 yen/month.

Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Kichijoji and Jiyugaoka are little enclaves of cool independent stores, and Shibuya is the capital of mainstream youth culture in Japan (and also the place to go if you need chemical pick me ups, apparently). The lowest band of the salary isn't great but I thought with my experience I'd hopefully be looking a bit further up the scale. The cover letter and CV were mailed, the interview was set up, and off I went.

Usually when you apply for a job the ad just gives you the rough details. Internet ads can give you more info regarding holidays, schedules, etc, but when it's costing you per word you keep it short. That's usually fine. Unfortunately, the info above was pretty much all my 'interviewer' was able to give me. The interview lasted all of fifteen minutes, most of which was taken up by him talking about himself. He probably puts personal ads in magazines and responds to them himself so he can find the only other person who would want to spend time with him. I asked about a typical schedule - "Ah, it's flexible." What about days off? - "Eight a month, but not set. You could work up to nine days straight." Gulp. Salary? - "Starts at two hundred and thirty thou and could go up if your students like you." Holidays? - "I don't know. I haven't had any since I started in February."

I think my face must have given me away as by the time I got home an hour or so later they had emailed me to tell me they were unable to shaft me... sorry, offer me a position at this time. It's the first time I've smiled on receipt of one of those mails.

It really really could happen.

The reason behind the delay in posts is that my mind has been trying to adapt itself to an unheard of feeling. Optimism stalks Jarvie-land like idiocy stalks Dubya every time he opens his gob and spouts forth (oooh, politics, how dangerous). I have had two more interviews in the last two days and they both seemed to go really well. Both interviewers have said that they were impressed with me and they thought I would do well in their respective companies. I am, of course, taking this with an amount of salt that isn't so much a pinch, as a fully blown case of sexual harrassment (before any pc baw bags get on to me (if there are even any reading this(brackets in brackets in brackets, how daring)) I am not making a mockery of sexual harrassment - it's called humour, try and fucking rediscover a sense of it you miserable cunts). As I have said many times many ways, we'll see what happens.

Optimistic

I have calmed down somewhat since the rant of this morning. Perhaps writing posts straight after getting bad news on a Sunday morning is not the way to go. The title of this post may be 'Optimistic' but I'm not sure how sanguine I actually feel. It's eight in the morning and I have been to bed for an hour, before getting up to watch the final round of the USPGA golf. It's been delayed because of bad weather and I find myself at a loose end. My supply of chu-hi is almost done but I have found a story I probably would not have read. Those of you who have 'friends' with premature ejaculation problems, point them in this direction. It might be complete bollocks written by a chauvinist trying to reassure his underperforming mates, but it made me smile (and anyone who knows me will tell you that takes some doing).
As I am writing this I realise it is neither particularly optimistic, nor really related to my ongoing search for work. It's more of a ramble, but what the fuck do you expect at this time of the morning? The golf's delayed, I'm almost out of booze, and my bum is really numb from the crappy seat I am sitting in. The title was a lie, a pretence used to draw unsuspecting folk in.
I'm swithering whether to make a trip to the 7-11. It depends if the golf is going to start soon. This is nothing to do with the premiss behind my blog. Time to go.

This Is A Low

Not too happy today. Interview number nineteen or twenty (I forget which one exactly, they are all becoming one amorphous blob of platitudes and fake smiles) ended in more failure. I should be used to this but this one particularly rankled as it was basically my old job. The company I used to work for had some franchise schools as well as the company-owned ones. The interview I had the other day was at a school which used to be a franchise school but had gone completely solo, changing its name, basically striking out on it's own. The name change was the only big difference - the same textbooks were still in use, the classrooms looked much the same, and the teaching styles and lessons were exactly the same. I didn't get the job. I still can't believe it. Some of the jobs I have applied for have been quite different to what I am used to but this wasn't - this was an almost exact replica of the job I did for two and a half years. What the fuck am I supposed to do to get a job? This is turning into a rant and that's just going to be boring so I'll stop there and go away and calm down. Anyway, I can't type fast enough to rant online.

First Day On A Brand New Planet

Fireworks on Saturday, hangover on Sunday, job interview on Monday, private student on Tuesday, job interview yesterday, first day of part-time job today. The condensed version of the past few days events.
Monday's job interview - seemed to go really well, to the extent that the school owner told me I was 'close to getting the job'. However, no breath is being held as already this year I have been told that I was the best candidate for a job after everyone had been interviewed, yet I still got the usual email that began 'I regret to inform you that you are in fact pish.' So, caution is very much being protected from the wind.
Yesterday's interview - again, it seemed to go really well. I had to do a demo lesson for a group of three year olds, who were unconvincingly played by three members of the office staff (one of whom may have been twenty three, but that's as close as it got). The demo went well and left me wishing that three year olds were that easy to teach. I should find out about both these jobs over the next few days.
Part-time job starts tonight. Six students who want to learn English for business, and a teacher who has no experience in the world of business other than being told it's none of mine. What could possibly go wrong?